The Ten Dirtiest, Sexiest Card Images In Dragon Ball Z

Ok BroZ, I try to be subtle about it but it seems a lot of you are just here looking for T & A from a card game based on a show about musclemen fighting. I know this because at least half the search terms that lead people to this site are hentai or yaoi keywords. For those of you who make it here, on most days more of you click on links to stuff like Pafu Pafu and Goten’s Freudian discussion of ice cream that I have only ever linked to once previously than ya’ll do on the CRD which has it’s own section on this site. Ok, fine. If this is what you want then here, let me just put it all in one place for you and get it over with. Here are the ten dirtiest and sexiest images I could find in the game. PervZ.

10. Master Roshi’s Gawking Drill

18 Master Roshi's Gawking Drill

What better place to start this list than with Master Roshi, the biggest pervert in Dragon Ball anything. Here he is in the Bojack Unbound movie, humping a pole and making obscene gestures at women with his tongue. Roshi is one of those weird characters that we give a pass to, even though he does some pretty terrible things in the series. For starters, the three centuries old Turtle Hermit and (at the time) most powerful man on Earth is introduced in the series by trying to coax a sixteen year-old girl into showing him her muff. The next time we see him, he refuses to train the 10 year old Krillin and Goku until they essentially kidnap a young woman for him to keep on his island. He also quite possibly has sex with Oolong while disguised as the sixteen year-old Bulma. But he did invent the Kamehameha, so no matter how many women he may follow into the bathroom we still keep him around.

9. Release

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Here’s one that Score didn’t even bother trying to hide. Between the name and the image, it’s not subtle at all. They only got more bold from here, where there are actually at least two cards in Score games called “Flawless Snatch” that feature women on them. The “Flawless Snatch” almost became one of those card titles that you would start to see in most Score games, until someone higher up the food chain at Score knew what a “snatch” was and put an end to that. A card called “Release” with a gooey, stringy substance coming at you while Gohan is giving us his O-face somehow slipped by without notice.

8. Tuff Enuff Crush

CCPP11 Tuff Enuff Crush

Oh jeeze, poor Krillin. Seems like he lost all his Coolness Drills cause here he is getting a foot up his ass. Seriously look at it, that Cell Jr. is in it up to his knee. You got your foot and dwarf fetishes covered in one card! Krillin was never the same after this incident, as you can see him completely changing his appearance and then blatantly bitch slapping and nut cracking opponents in later fights.

7. Hercule’s Nibble

L4-8 Hercule's Nibble

We have all seen that dangly-bob thing on Majin Buu’s head and most definitely at one point or another we’ve all compared it to a wang. There’s some credence to the theory, just look at how Super Buu winces in a pain that many of us can relate to when it gets smashed. While Goku has been known to give it a tug, apparently only Hercule thought to put it in his mouth, much to Kid Buu’s evident pleasure.

6. Majin Buu’s Smooch

P10

Majin Buu is really crossing the line here. I guess someone at Score said, “Remember when Majin Buu was on a killing spree and then for no apparent reason he tries to force himself on a random woman? PLAYERS SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO THAT IN THE GAME!” So when you play this card, I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean. Does it mean your personality is harassing some poor woman or is your personality trying to actually kiss your opponent’s personality? This card gets kinda creepy then if you plays as Master Roshi or Android 20 and then try to use it on Goten or Kid Trunks. Someone should go to jail after that. I just want to point out that it’s possible to kiss little boys or frightened bystanders in this game, but there was never ever any Dragon Radar in the game based on a show about finding Dragon Balls with said device.

5. Android Effect

PR3

Here’s an incredibly creepy sight where Android 20 definitely has his rapeface on. With all the weird Vegeta x Goku and Trunks x Gohan search terms that lead people to our site, I thought for sure that this image must have inspired some lazy yaoi artist somewhere. So for you, dear reader, I braved the internet and asked Google for some “Android 20 x Piccolo Yaoi” to see if anyone ever had capitalized on this obvious shipping. Sadly but mostly happily, I did not find what I was looking for. And don’t bother posting any you find or make in the comments, cause I’m over it. My consolation is now knowing that any future PervZ looking for Android 20 x Piccolo on the internet will now surely be lead here.

4. Black Energy Blasts

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WTF… WTF, WTF,WTF… There are techniques for energy attacks that you can just fire out of your dick!?!? From a personality known for having an unstoppable energy attack? I don’t know why I never put two and two together, or why more characters in the show didn’t have more pelvic based attacks. There is nothing missing from this card image, that is how it appears in the game. Whether this was edited in the anime for being “Too Hot For TV” or if the designers intended to give you a conveniently blank and comically situated spot to draw your own “energy attack” in would be anyone’s guess.

3. Blue Happiness

GB2 Blue Happiness

If you think I included this card in the list because it has a swimsuit glad woman stroking a pussy cat, then this is obviously not the first article of mine that you’ve read so thanks you for being a loyal reader. One of the things I never figured out about the show is why some of the non-Roshi characters have trouble getting dates? I mean, I’ve gone into bars and people have bought me drinks just for wearing a Dragon Ball Z shirt. If I could go into any bar and start levitating and shooting lasers out of my hands (or apparently from the crotch in some cases), I’d probably never have to buy another drink for the rest of my life. Just about all Z Fighters can do this, so why aren’t there Krillin groupies in DBZ land?

2. Torbie the Silent

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So which issue should we address first: his suspiciously penis shaped head or his very obvious boner?

1. Black Zarbon Transformation Drill

068 Black Zarbon Transformation Drill

This will reach its climax in about five minutes. It will take ten episodes.

 

Later, BroZ!

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13 Comments to "The Ten Dirtiest, Sexiest Card Images In Dragon Ball Z"

  1. shannon says:

    A couple of these are really stretching it AND I am very disappoint that you didn’t have this card on there.

    http://retrodbzccgcom.fatcow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/10-Red-Elbow-Strike-218×300.jpg

    • Orangehatguy says:

      There are plenty of cards missing from this list. And there is a need for more articles. I’m sure there’s a solution to those problems SOMEHWERE if you think really really hard 🙂

  2. Bryan says:

    I am even more surprised you put Gawking Drill up but not

    OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH!!!!!

  3. Chris says:

    What about Red Mouth Shot? That card is more dirty then 80% of this list.

  4. Chipmunk says:

    For the amount of crap I got for it, I find the lack of Red Mouth Shot (http://dragonballzocg.com/database?cmd=showcard&id=2034) disturbing… =p But hey, it worked to our advantage. Back in the day when we had this technology called “magazines”, we got tons of articles about our silly titles, images, and flavor text.

    Chippy
    LORD SLUG GETS HUGE!

  5. shannon says:

    Ohhhhhhh Yeah is kind of a gimme and is just picking low hanging fruit.

  6. Eric says:

    Carpet Attack Technique. ’nuff said.

  7. Brandon Maupin says:

    I wanted to mention the Red and Orange Mouth Shots, but was beaten to the punch. i remember these cards and why they were funny.

  8. […] This is the only personality card on this list that was included with the intention of not staying on Level 3. Short of the amazing Broly Lv. 1, this is one of the best Most Powerful Personality Victory friendly levels in the game. Certainly no slouch in the damage department with his high power levels and generous damage buff, the real goal of this guy is getting to a stupidly powerful Level 4 personality or on to an MPP Victory in two moves or less. Either angle you take, no one wants to be sitting across the table from this guy. I rank him higher than the other Majin Buu simply because I feel victory is much more imminent when you get to this dickhead. […]

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